Idiots on a plane

A very loud and annoying Swedish woman was sitting in my aisle on the AIR FRANCE plane back to Stockholm.

(Safety announcements given in Swedish, English and then a recording in Swedish….)

Lady: Why can’t they have an actual person giving the instructions in Swedish? They should have a real person speaking Swedish and not a recording!

(We are on an Air FRANCE flight. You’re lucky they even bothered with the recording.)

Lady speaking to friend: You know I found this international book site where you can buy books a lot cheaper than in Sweden, but they mainly had English books! (outraged look)  I don’t want to read books in English, I want to read them in Swedish!

(Umm… then maybe buy them in Sweden?)

Then to top it off, when the food card came around, the woman speaks perfect English to order her meal.

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Disneyland Paris

We finally took the kids to Disneyland Paris last week. (You see, you have to wait until they are over 1 meter tall so they can ride things.)  They loved it!  Major success.  We were the best parents in the world for at least one full day!

The Disneyland Paris park is the same as the Florida Disneyworld park, just with French names.  For example, Sleeping Beauty’s castle is “Le Château de la Belle au Bois Dormant.”  On the plus side, you can get crepes for a snack!

Your children will also learn French while visiting. Words like “sortie” (exit), “temps d’attente” (waiting time), and “glaces” (ice creams – all children learn that immediately in any language).

Sometimes I wished I didn’t understand the words.  As in waiting in line with my adventurous 10-yr old for the Indiana Jones coaster.  I didn’t need to know “péril” and “Le looping 360,” while waiting in line thinking my body is way too old for loops and danger. But sometimes you have to be the cool mom and do the loops, resulting in terror and dizziness after, but with a big smile on your face when your kid shouts, “AWESOME!”

So Disneyland equals lé success!

indiana-jones-paris-disneyland

Crêpes, crêpes and more crêpes

After our trip to Paris last week, our children have discovered the joys that are crêpes. Nutella crêpes, Honey crêpes, Maple syrup crêpes, chocolate and more than I can remember. We had crêpes every day of our trip for dessert.  The best part was ordering a crêpe Suzette and making a bet with the children that the waiter would set it on fire. They didn’t believe us.  We are 1 Euro richer now.

The 8 yr old has now requested eating at a crêpe restaurant for his next birthday.  Works for me.  Beats McDonald’s every year.

crepsuz

Drinking wine and eating a baguette on bonfire night

Yes, we take a lot of trips. At the moment, we are in Paris. You may say, “How come you can travel so much? Don’t people work in Sweden?”

The short answer is, “Not all that much.”

The longer answer is that we have lots of fun holidays and we are good at doing our work while having plenty of free time, which keeps everyone quite happy and pretty productive. This particular week, we have 2 days off. One for April 30, Valborg, in which we are all required to stand around a bonfire singing songs and freezing to death while pretending spring is here. The other holiday is May 1, on which you get a day off of work to protest about work, or human rights, war, or pickles if you like.

By taking a vacation during this week, the kids don’t miss much school and we don’t miss much work. The only drawback is that Paris also celebrates May 1 tomorrow and many things are closed for protesting. I might go out and protest that things are closed. Who knows? We will see.

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Why are Swedes not the happiest in the world?

Well, did you ask them during the month of January? That could be part of your problem.

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Paris – hunchbacks, cats and old robots

We are taking the kids to Paris today! It will be their first time there. I’ve been trying to prepare them for the past few weeks with movies about Paris. I’m not sure if they really learned anything from the movies I picked. The reactions went a bit like this:

Hunchback of Notre Dame – Ended up in my son trying to walk like a hunchback for a week.

A Cat in Paris – Kids in deep discussion about if one could actually jump from rooftop to rooftop… well maybe if you were in shape… maybe if you had special shoes….

Hugo – Mainly just interested in the automatron. How to work it, how to build it. Didn’t seem to notice Paris or the history of movies in the film.

The Aristocats – Always just concerned about that one scene where the piano crashes through the floor. “They’ll get in trouble!”

Oh well…. They’ll just have to discover Paris on their own.

Aristoca

Inappropriate Nature

Sometimes at work, I like to listen to nature sounds. I made a few lists before with rain sounds, ocean sounds, forest sounds, and more. There is no music with these, just background nature sounds.

Today I started up my forest sounds list. Apparently some of my sounds are marked as “Explicit” on the Spotify website. As I’ve listened to these before and happen to know there is no music or speech, I wonder what makes them explicit.  Are there birds mating? A squirrel clicking insults at another squirrel?  I’m listening much more closely now.

Skärmavbild 2015-04-27 kl. 09.29.08

My own magazine

I have to read a lot of online magazines for my job. So many of them are the same. Then I start thinking about writing my own online magazine. Much like a blog I guess.

What would I call it to get people’s attention? The Awesome Gossip Report.

Top stories: Just awesome stuff, like how I heard the building I work in has giant nutra-rats living in the basement. Or how to turn a character on RollerCoaster Tycoon into a Monster Truck and roll over customers.

I’d give the latest in “Keeping up with the kids.” The top trends in 1st – 4th grade.  This week it’s “Five Nights at Freddy’s,” a new game to play outside called “Blood Potato,” and Digimon is making a comeback.

In food news, cucumbers are really cheap this week. And “How to NOT make dry lasagne.”

What am I missing? Not much more than these other online magazines I see.  I guess I need annoying advertising on the side. Maybe I can at least get AWESOME sponsors like “bacon bowl” or “Hamburger bed.”

You’d subscribe, right?

burgerbed

Tag lines

While pre-publishing a post for next week (I’ll be on vacation) about politics and Europe, I was suggested certain tags for my post in order to publicize it. I’m still trying to figure out why the tagging suggestions were America, beer and cheese.

Not that I’m complaining, I’m just not sure what that has to do with politics and Europe. Unless of course the underlying message is, “Hey man, just come to America, eat cheese, drink beer and forget about your problems.”

I suppose that’s good political policy as well.

beercheese impeace

Reasons my kids won’t go to sleep

Here are the reasons the kids wouldn’t go to sleep just for last night:

1. Thirsty

2. Thought they heard someone playing a computer game.

3. Had an idea for a plasma ball invention.

4. Panicking because they can’t play a Mozart piece on the piano.

5. Thought of a way to stop missiles in war – build a force field.

6. Some teddy bears were up and wanted to come sleep in our room.

7. Radio went off. Wants to know if they can start up music again.

8. An addition to the missile force field – a detector to see if the object is peaceful (can be allowed in) or if its mean (will bounce off).

9. I have no idea. I gave up and went to bed myself.

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