Do I *like* crime?

I follow the Stockholm Police Twitter account on my feed to keep up with what’s happening. They’re very good at reporting what’s happening around town. Today a major street by our neighborhood had to be shut down temporarily because a moose wandered onto it.  Being a Texan, even after 15 years in Sweden, it’s still exotic to have news stories about “moose on the loose!” So I clicked the star (or like) on that particular story.

But it felt weird to “like” something that was probably a huge problem for the police and a major traffic jam for afternoon drivers. Then I thought about the other stories the police post about people stealing or drunk drivers that they pull over. Am I supposed to click that I like those? What message does it send? That I’m happy they caught someone? Or “Woo-hoo! Stealing motorcycles!” I hope they would understand it’s the former, but I generally just don’t click anything so there won’t be a misunderstanding.

I couldn’t resist the moose though.

moose

Star Spangled Underwear

As I was pulling on my American flag underwear this morning, I started to think about how strange it is that people get so upset about “desecrating the flag” while at the same time, they buy American flag underwear.

I also started to wonder if the U.S. was the only country who did this, but quickly realize that quite a few of them do. Now the question becomes, what country DOESN’T turn it’s flag into underwear? Also, wouldn’t wars end faster if they just sent out good-looking people in the underwear of that country’s flag? Everyone would be distracted.  Or better yet, everyone has to fight in flag underwear.

usa

Available jobs in Stockholm

I work two part-time extra time jobs here in Stockholm, so sometimes I check to see if there might be a third extra time job I might be able to do. Checking job ads here gets very distracting though. Let me give you today’s examples along with my comments:
German-speaking debt collection agent   (“Geld! Schnell!”  I think I can get this one)

Professional Dog Walker  (Professional? )

Chinese nail therapist   (1. Why Chinese? 2. Do I just help nails to deal with their social issues?)

Thai Massage   (No thanks)

Team member for food truck “The Good Gringo”  The Good Gringo is on a mission to share with you what a burrito should be.

( I fully support this mission)

profdog

The nice train

Today I learned about “Snälltåget,” or “The Nice Train” in English.

I think it’s been around for a while, but I only happened to notice it because of a coupon offer to travel on it between some Swedish towns. Apparently it’s an older model train where you have little lamps at your table and they serve you food on porcelin plates. I like this idea, though I wonder if my conductor wears a suit and a funny mustache. Otherwise, it’s not so authentic.

The best thing about the ad for the Nice Train is that they specifically say that it’s better than the “dumtåget” (Stupid Train) as that one ‘jostles along in commuter traffic.’

So basically, this ad isn’t getting me on the porcelin plates, but on the fact that if I choose another train, I’m riding “The Stupid Train.”  Plus, I assume the Stupid Train has plastic plates and everyone rides in darkness.  I hope they also write “Dumtåget” on the side of the train like they write “Snälltåget” on the side of the Nice Ones.

Screen Shot 2015-08-21 at 08.38.58

Burger Boat or Burger Barge?

I’m going to eat a hamburger today from a place called “The Burger Boat” even though it’s a barge. This bothers me. Burger Barge would have sounded just fine AND been accurate. I wouldn’t call a food truck a food CAR.

Sorry, I just need my restaurants to be correct. This is why I have trouble eating at Pizza HUT.

Screen Shot 2015-08-21 at 08.48.10

Wise words from the waterslide

I was standing at the top of the waterslide behind an 8 yr old and his 4 yr old brother waiting for my turn. The 8 yr old instructed his younger brother on how to properly go down the slide and when he did, the older brother turned to me with a knowing sigh and said, “ah, they grow up so quickly,” before doing a belly-flop down the chute.

watersli

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder

Sure, the green nail polish felt summery and fresh until the lady at the party offered me a napkin so I could “get that avacado dip off” my nails.

GreenPolish

How I wish I could respond on Facebook:

da

I can’t share this. My daughter looks hideous.

 

footb

Thank you for letting me know it’s the time of the year to block all football fans from my Facebook feed.

 

 Screen Shot 2015-08-14 at 12.17.52

Is she filling it with money? No? Not interested.

Screen Shot 2015-08-14 at 12.21.25

But as for my son-in-law….. he must have been created in the deepest pits of hell. May he be kidnapped by rabid howler monkeys and forced to live off grubs in the jungle. Maria, for the last time, get rid of that loser! He’s not welcome for Christmas!

What to have with my afternoon coffee…..

I wanted a small piece of chocolate to have with my coffee.  Could only find Pop Rocks. Does this make me only half an adult?

cof Pop-Rock

It’s raining noodles

I had a headache last night and ended up making a rather boring pasta meal for my kids and their friends. I was afraid they might not eat it, but when I came back into the kitchen, the plates were fairly clear.

I was happy until they left and I went to close the kitchen window…. where there were spaghetti noodles hanging down from the windowsill.

I’m fairly sure it wasn’t my own kids as they’ve never tried that one before. So I have to give credit to our guests. I may have to try this method the next time I’m served raw herring at someone’s house.

getti

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 677 other followers

%d bloggers like this: