Today is Swedish mother’s day and I got one present from my youngest son a day early when I picked him up yesterday afternoon.
Mamma, I got you a present.
(digs in pocket)
Here! It’s mascara! I found it just sitting on a wall by the street. It’s still got some in it! I thought you could use it to color in your eyebrows! You’d look cool with black eyebrows!
Let me share a few:
- 1906 – The great national temperance beverage.
I don’t know. It doesn’t really flow. Maybe if they sang it?
- 1910 – Whenever you see an Arrow, think of Coca-Cola.
Um… ok… I will
- 1927 – Pure as Sunlight
It’s not though.
My son, who has his bedroom adjacent to the kitchen where the radio plays, stomped out of his room very confused this morning.
“What kind of song is this? Why do they keep singing ‘we’ve got to grow it on her brow?’ I don’t get it! Grow what?!”
“Um, the lyrics are actually ‘we’ve got a groovy kind of love’ but I think I like your version better.”
My kid does this once a month to his face and all he needs is an old Sharpie marker. I’m not paying for a special “freckle marker.” This is going too far.
Am I too cynical or is it just impossible to take certain companies seriously when going through job application ads?
We’re on a mission to take over the world, and we believe that the only way to succeed with that is by having the Hungriest Digital Tigers and Toughest Tech Lions available.
(Well, I’m a Cantakerous Copywriting Camel, so I guess I’m out.)
What Google created in 10 years, we will be creating in 6 months.
(I’d put my money on this company being bankrupt in 6 months.)
Just send your email to our Chief People Officer…
(Is this an actual job title? Is anyone questioning how ridiculous this sounds? ” Hello, Chief People Officer, I am the Overlord Writing Governor.”)
Just out of curiosity, I thought I would apply because:
- Aside from the lion and tiger thing, I had all the qualifications
- If this is their ad, what kind of stories will I come away with after an interview?”
So I went to their page and it turns out, applicants are required to apply word by word as the questions show up. Starting with:
We are looking for a Digital Copywriter. Press YES
(Ok, that answer doesn’t match the question, unless I’m agreeing that YES, you ARE looking for a digital copywriter.)
Then I get to read the ad again and am instructed to press CONTINUE
What is your first name? _________ PRESS OK.
Now, I can probably guess the next question, but I went ahead and exited the site instead.
It seems like Facebook neighborhood groups are just the modern form of the gossipy people who sit at home all day watching the street with nothing to do.
Typical posts for our neighborhood are:
“Does anybody know who cut down that tree?”
“I saw a gray cat by the grocery store. Did someone lose a cat?”
“There was a suspicious looking guy by the laundry room this morning. He didn’t do or say anything, but everyone should watch out!”
Spent a lovely day on Sunday, here in Stockholm, taking a walk, going to a park and even petting farm animals. Spring was in the air. I even stopped at the flower display at the grocery store and considered buying something for the balcony.
Luckily, I’ve lived here long enough not to fall for it.
Sure enough, we woke up Monday morning to -2c and snow.
My husband was so preoccupied with whether he could, he didn’t stop to think if he should.
If you live in Stockholm and are a passionate cyclist…
This is an ideal role to gain experience in the ….
So little or no pay. NOPE. Next.
While watching “Blue Planet” with my son last night, we came upon a lovely part of the documentary about the migration of grey humpack whales. A mother was traveling at a slower pace in order for her newborn calf to keep up. It was very touching until…
THE KILLER WHALES SHOWED UP
A gang of 15 killer whales surrounded the mother and calf, spending 6 hours trying to drown the calf. Finally they succeeded and then swam off after only eating the calf’s jaw, leaving the heartbroken mother to travel alone.
So this got me thinking…
Were we too quick to condemn water parks for training killer whales for our entertainment? Did we look into why the human race started holding them in captivity in the first place? Because I’m thinking we must have made a deal with the peace-loving humpbacks to put those killer whales where they deserve to be. Entertaining children instead of drowning and eating them.
As I’m sitting here typing this in my nice comfy slippers from my iPad, my husband plays games on his RetroPie from the bed, my oldest son is using Skype to play Minecraft with his friend across town, and my youngest son is in a virtual reality world. Welcome to the future.
My current view as pictured above.
Why does renting a car have to be such a procedure? If we already booked the car and filled in all of our information on the computer, why do we still have to fill it out AGAIN on paper once we get to the rental counter? Isn’t that what the computer was for? Check my license and give me my keys!
That’s just a general rant about every time we rent a car. In Italy, you can imagine how slow the paperwork is, mostly because they are marking all the damages that are ALREADY on the vehicle.
After being talked into a good deal for full coverage insurance on our rental car (and taking 15 minutes to fill out paperwork that was already in the computer), we made our way to the garage to pick up the car. Knowing that they don’t always mark every dent and scratch, we checked the car and found two scratches to report so that we would not be responsible once we were done with the car.
My husband went to report the scratches to the attendant, who was very reluctant to move from his chair. He took a look at the paperwork, shrugged his shoulders and said, “Is no problem. Who cares? You have full coverage. Run the car into a wall if you like.”
Our motto for the rest of the trip, while driving down narrow streets full of potholes was “Oh well – FULL COVERAGE!”
As I mentioned before, my husband and I took a 4-day long anniversary trip to Italy this past weekend. With only 4 days, we wanted every minute to count, which turned out to be a problem when the Italians decided to strike at the Rome airport. Our plane was delayed 3 hours until they could confirm landing clearance, so we were given vouchers for food (that worked in every restaurant except the specific one we went to, of course), and boarded our plane later in the afternoon.
Once the plane finished boarding and the doors were closed, it needed to be de-iced. The de-icing truck began to do its job and then ran out of de-icing liquid. We had to wait 20 minutes for another de-icing truck.
Finally, the de-icing was complete and it was time for the plane to be pushed back from the gate. We slowly moved backwards and then stopped after just a few feet. The truck pushing the plane broke down and we had to wait 20 minutes for a replacement truck.
The flight went smoothly after all the delays and we landed at Rome’s Fiumicino airport … only to wait on the tarmac an additional 20 minutes because of a plane in front of us.
My husband and I celebrated our 18th anniversary in the town of Bracciano, Italy over the weekend. While there, we visited the 15th century castle that towers over the town. It’s one of the most impressive castles in Italy and luckily it’s open to the public. Each room has a plaque with information, so one can learn about the furniture, portraits, or the people who stayed in the rooms.
One of the most “interesting” rooms was that of Isabella de-Medici. Isabella was rumored to push her lovers through a wooden door to the side of her bed when she was done with them, where they fell into a pit of blades and lye.
There were couples in the tour group in front of us that stopped to pose for smiling pictures with their arms around each other in front of the bed with the door in the background. My husband and I skipped that particular photo opportunity.
I thought maybe if I used Photoshop, I could make winter go away and feel better. I tried this picture with my son, but I still don’t feel very summery…
There is an event taking place in March, here in Sweden, called “Nordic Gardens.” This is what I picture:
It’s -9c this morning (16f) and that’s just wrong.
I’m hitting my winter breaking point. It usually happens sometime in February. You can only take so much darkness and cold. I spend my days right now wondering why people would ever settle here. Sure, maybe they showed up in the summer, and maybe they thought the winter wouldn’t be so long, but by February, they had to be saying, “Let’s go invade the Riviera. This is no way to live.” But instead they invaded England, probably during the rainy season, and ended up going back to Sweden (my guess was the bad English food).
The point is, I understand why the Vikings were angry and I really need to go invade the Riviera.
Someone today brought up how strange it is that many European countries have pay public toilets. This is something that’s always bothered me here in Sweden. I’ve been here 18 years and still think it should be a basic human right to use a toilet when you need it.
I get the reasons behind it… messy people, drug people, crazy people, etc., but when you gotta go, you gotta go!
Water is clean and free here, but not so public toilets.
When I was pregnant, I managed to make a list of all hidden and free bathrooms around Stockholm. Don’t ask me for it though. It’s of high and secret value and I can’t have all you people messing up my free bathrooms.