I’m old

I’m old.

I bought the wrong face soap.  Why?  Because it says smooth face cleanser on it.  I put it on my face and I’m fairly certain it’s lotion.

I also bought something that says “Body soufflé.”  What is that?!  Is it a lotion?  Is it shower gel?  Am I supposed to eat it?

When did they start changing the names of everything to things I don’t understand?  It feels like everything I buy is sometihng like, “Cake Batter Happy Hands!” or “Incredible Hair Pudding!”

What does it all mean?!  Am I supposed to prepare my body now as if someone wants to pop me in the oven and put some icing on me?  I’m not even sure this is legal.  Shouldn’t it say somewhere on the bottles what the actual product is?  I check but it never does.  It just says it makes your skin smooth.  But how?!  Is it because the soap is soft, exfoliating,  a lotion, takes away germs, or removes fingerprints?  I just don’t know!!

What does it mean?!

It means I’m old.


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