Category Archives: Texas

Dress Code

In my old hometown newspaper from Texas, there is an article this week about a sophomore student in high school asking the School Board to remove the ban on boys wearing earrings in school.

I have tried to explain to my Swedish husband that when I went to school in Texas, you could not dye your hair, boys could not have hair past their shoulders, no facial hair and no earrings for boys. That was combined with the usual skirts past the fingertips for girls and no hats allowed for anyone.

Apparently the schools in the place I grew up finally took away the rule about long hair for boys (fairly recently). I know the earring and facial hair rule are still in effect, as well as the skirts and hats, and I’m not sure about hair dye but I think that is still banned as well.

When my husband went to high school here in Sweden, he went through purple hair, bright red hair and blue hair, among many other colors. He also had an earring. And no one cared. He was a smart and great student. No one in class was “distracted,” as some Texas schools like to say in these situations.

Imagine at your job if a man walked in with an earring (many men at your job probably already wear one or more), facial hair (shocking!) and purple hair. You might say, “Whoa Todd, cool hair!” and then do your job. I can’t imagine anyone saying, “There is just no way I can file insurance claims when I can’t take my eyes of Todd’s earring.” or “I would save this woman’s life, but I can’t perform surgery when the ambulance driver who brought this patient in has purple hair. It’s too distracting.”

My oldest son dyed his hair orange most of last year. All this week he has been wearing fake mustaches to school, nerd glasses and a hat that looks like Sonic the Hedgehog. Surprisingly, this does not affect his work or the work of his fellow students, some who have dyed hair, wear shorts or even a rabbit suit pullover (yes, I’ve seen this twice).

I live in the real world. I ride the subway. I’ve seen people dressed as zombies, people with face tattoos, people with piercings and chains. I don’t mind any of those people as long as they TAKE A SHOWER (and don’t eat my brains, of course).

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My oldest son has worn this to school every day this week (with a different mustache every day).

 

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Watch out!

Is it just me, or is the grammar wrong in this headline? I’m reading this as “this lady is set to die Friday.” Hope she’s watching out for herself.

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Why I hate online video news

Why does every news story I click have to have a video automatically start playing with the report? I just want to read what happened and move on! I don’t want or need to see the video and I always have to take the time to hit the pause button.

Today was a great example of why video news is awful – some of them run commercials before the story. I give you the screenshot of what I saw when I clicked on this story about an attempted kidnapping.

I always knew there was something messed up about Jack.

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No… no, they’re not.

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Fruitopia

We seem to be having an early season for apples and other fruits here in the Stockholm area, and I’m lucky enough to live in a place that used to be a fruit orchard at some far point back in time. Or maybe it was a dump where lazy people threw out rotten apple cores and plum seeds. Whichever it is, it’s paying off now! Earlier this season the cherry trees were full of fruit, and now we’ve moved on to apples and plums. I’m also lucky to have young, eager climbers to get up and reach the good apples. The freezer is full of pies, breads and muffins.

And if I’m not in the mood to search around, people in my neighborhood who have an abundance of apples and plums from their trees often put out baskets for anyone to take extra. Just walking for ten minutes, I passed seven baskets of fruit (and came home with two bags full, while still leaving plenty for other people).

I was thinking how this wouldn’t work in the area of Texas where I grew up. People would probably just steal the basket.

However, people do have the neighborly, sharing spirit there, just in other ways. Instead of fruit, people put their old couches and televisions out on the curb. It’s understood that anything on the curb is free to take. Once or twice when one of my parents would put something like that out on our curb, I would hide near the window to see how long it would take until someone took it. I never had to wait more than five minutes.

Meanwhile in Sweden, I have this bike I bought for about five dollars that I hate and I can’t get anyone to steal it! There’s no lock on it and it’s out in front of the building. I know I need to take it to the dump, but that requires loading it into the car, which requires muscles and time. I have a limited amount of both.

Maybe if I put the bike in a giant basket and hang some apples from it, someone will get the idea. It’s worth a try.

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K.F.C., ads and wallpaper paste

Yesterday, I got into a heated discussion with my son about how it’s possible for KFC to have so many secret spices. My son insisted the commercial he saw in the U.S. claimed Kentucky Fried Chicken had 17 secret spices in their batter (I’ve since discovered it’s 11). To him, this was blatant false advertising. His argument was that products can have one secret ingredient but to have 17 (or 11) is completely ludicrous.

While I’m glad my children recognize these commercials in the U.S. as exaggerating and occasionally outright lying (“Mac & Cheese – a great source of calcium!”), it does get exhausting trying to explain marketing and how companies get away with things. While standards aren’t perfect here, there are many more laws in Sweden about advertising that make American advertising “laws” quite laughable.

In Sweden, companies are not even allowed to advertise toward children under the age of 12. In the U.K., advertisements must not ‘exhort children to purchase or to ask their parents or others to make enquiries or purchases’.

This is quite different from advertisements in the U.S., which are very much directed at young children to pester their parents into using a product, my best example being a few years ago when my children saw a Chuck E. Cheese commercial in Texas and then told us, “This says the coolest parents take their kids to Chuck E. Cheese. Why aren’t you guys cool parents?”

To come around to the original KFC subject, let me share something that I found interesting:

Sanders sold the Kentucky Fried Chicken corporation in 1964, and the gravy recipe was changed in the 1970s. Colonel Sanders was quite disappointed, stating “My God, that gravy is horrible. They buy tap water for 15 to 20 cents a thousand gallons and then they mix it with flour and starch and end up with pure wallpaper paste. And I know wallpaper paste, by God, because I’ve seen my mother make it. … There’s no nutrition in it and they ought not to be allowed to sell it. … crispy recipe is nothing in the world but a damn fried doughball stuck on some chicken.”

Now THAT’s truth in advertising!

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No politics at all !

Just reminding everyone that I have a new book out – “As Long as I Have My Own Bathroom” – which is great summer reading while you’re on vacation, but most of all, IT CONTAINS ABSOLUTELY NO POLITICS!

For sale in the U.S. here – https://amzn.com/1530292964

For sale at other Amazons, such as – http://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1530292964

For sale in Sweden here – http://tinyurl.com/zfjql79

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A day at the beach

While many of our friends were posting pictures from their beach vacations on the Mediterranean, we were on the Texas Gulf Coast where we were subjected to warnings about avoiding the beaches because they contained flesh-eating bacteria, sea lice, alligators, sharks, and snakes in the sand dunes. I wish I was making this up, but I’m not.

I thought it would be hard to convince my kids not to get in the water at the beach, but it turns out when you let them read an article about a man losing his leg at that beach the week before and how people are breaking out in rashes from sea lice, they kind of decide for themselves not to get in the water.

And just in case you don’t believe me and think, “But why would people even live in that area if there were alligators, snakes, sharks, lice and flesh-eating bacteria?” here’s one of the articles that was in the local paper:

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My children are brought to you by …

One drawback of having children in Sweden who NEVER see t.v. commercials is that they become quite overwhelmed by them when we visit the U.S. After about a week, my youngest was saying things like, “This breakfast today is sponsored by…” and “Brushing my teeth is brought to you by …”

I guess I should be glad they are adapting to the customs and language.

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Back from Bacon-Land

We’ve returned to Sweden this week after a 3 week trip to the U.S. – or as it really should be called – “Bacon-Land.” They might as well change the name already and get it over with.
Needless to say, we are all spending this first week home detoxing our body from bacon and fried foods.

A Texas baked potato

A typical baked potato in Texas – with pulled pork of course:

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Finally enough pickles

One of the nice things about our trip to the U.S. – I can finally get enough pickles on my hamburger.

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Important Texas news

We will be visiting Texas soon, so I thought I would check the local news.

This seems about right.

Also, he doesn’t need to give that back. Thanks anyway.

 

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Creepy advertising

Funeral home ad from a newspaper in Texas.

To answer their question … probably that guy in the picture… or at least that’s the message I get from this ad.

RUN AWAY LADY!

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They fought so you can shoot lasers

Looking through some activities to do in the U.S. this summer and I found a WW2 Destroyer that has tours. Or, since people don’t think a giant war destroying battle ship is enough for children – there’s laser tag!

I’m pretty sure this is wrong. Or is it just me?

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Buy My Book!

Buy my new book “As Long as I Have My Own Bathroom” and learn the secret of the mysterious Leprechaun Museum.

Available on Amazon (for the U.S.) – http://amzn.com/1530292964
Available Amazon.co.uk (for the UK) – http://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1530292964
And AdLibris (in Sweden) – http://tinyurl.com/jyjfkro
And most likely on other Amazon services around the world so just check!

Thank you!  All money goes to ice cream.

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I wrote a new book!

I have a new book out! (also available on Amazon.co.uk) !
How would you act if you accidentally arrived with your extended family on a nude beach in France? Or if a Turkish salesman in the grand bazaar in Istanbul offered to replace your husband with a new one? How about having to go to the bathroom in front of your friends in the forest behind a sheet with the words “ladies room” painted on it? Heather Jonasson has handled these incidents, and more, on her trips around Europe and the US. Heather Jonasson is a native Texan who moved to the small, frozen country of Sweden in northern Europe for love. Now, follow her along as she tells of her travel adventures in Europe and the US.
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Special Lady

There’s a chain of restaurants in the southern U.S. called “Waffle House.” It’s a good place to go if you’re:
– Poor
– Hungry after midnight
– In College

Back in the 90s, my friends and I fit all of those categories quite often, so we spent a lot of time at the Waffle House. Now, the Waffle House food is nothing exciting, but the reason to go there is because of the Waffle House jukebox. Every Waffle House has a jukebox with your usual standard fare in the south (lots of Hank Williams, Willie Nelson and strange pop R&B songs that were popular, well, back in the 90s). But every one of their jukeboxes also has their own Waffle House themed music.

Yes, they have their own label and musicians that write and record songs about food and experiences at the Waffle House. My friends and I would save our quarters just to choose the following song and play it over and over depending on how much money we were able to put in the jukebox. I give to you, “Special Lady at the Waffle House.” It’s a real song and apparently after you go in and play it several nights in a row on repeat, the employees of the Waffle House will unplug the jukebox – I speak from experience:

And if you enjoyed that, you should also check out some of these other wonderful Waffle House originals:

Waffle House Family – https://youtu.be/lYQUB5Wb_FM

Raisins in My Toast – https://youtu.be/N_LnuPFnJXY

 

 

New book coming soon!

When you have around 6 months of winter and darkness here in Sweden, you can do one of three things.

  1. Take a vacation to the sun (smartest idea, unfortunately, I’m not that smart)
  2. Hibernate
  3. Find a creative project to put meaning into your day.

Well, I’ve gone with number 3 (I really need to save up for number 1 next winter) and I’m about to publish my second book of essays, this time all about transportation and travel!

Here is a short example of what you will find in this book:

I made my husband eat alligator when he visited me in Texas.
He made me eat snails when I visited him in Europe.
True love.

Another update next week when I make it available. Until then, here’s a picture of a very well-dressed cat.

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Garden & Gun?

One of my Facebook friends posted an article about Matthew McConaughey the other day that discussed his love for the New Orleans Garden District. All of the comments were on how great a person Mr. McConaughey is or how great New Orleans is, but there was not one comment about the name of the magazine in which this article appeared – Garden & Gun.

Though it makes me laugh, this is one of the reasons I’m glad I no longer live in the southern states. Can you imagine a magazine like this in Sweden? What would it be called?  Trädgård & Yxa ?

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