With all the terrible news around the world, and now this.
I thought I’d start a new thing at home where I make a menu of what we will have for breakfast during the week. Normally the kids love sausage & bacon, but now for some reason, they say they aren’t hungry for it anymore. Oh well – more bacon for me!
This is what my husband keeps asking me.
“Why so stressed?”
Good question. I don’t know. Maybe it’s because:
- I had to repeat 2 assignments yesterday for 2 different companies who either have bad computer systems or simply can’t keep track of anything.
- Every day when I pick up my youngest son, his entire body, including his hair, is covered in dirt, and if that weren’t enough, he fills his pockets with sand and his shoes with pebbles.
- Or, it could be because while I try to eat a nice peaceful breakfast and read the newspaper, my husband flies drones around the kitchen in an attempt to land them on my head.
By the way, these are also the answers to the questions, “Why do you need a glass of wine?” and “Why do you go to bed so early?”
….and breakfast on Tuesdays, Wednesdays, etc. Basically any weekday when I need to get my kids up to catch the bus.
Amazingly, my youngest son always has some sort of ailment in which he cannot get out of bed (ailments do not apply to weekends). Today his body was so heavy with gravity that he could not get up from the floor. He dragged himself into the kitchen and claimed he was unable to pull himself up into his chair. I placed his breakfast on the floor, but he was unable to eat it this way either because he could not lift his head. Somehow when I turned my back, he pulled himself up on his chair. Miracle cure!
One thing I do not look forward to when I visit the U.S. is the ridiculous names that I’m expected to read off restaurant menus when I want something to eat. Even when I lived in the U.S., I refused to say things like “Rooty Tooty Fresh and Fruity” or “Moons Over My Hammy.”
One nice thing about Europe is that when I order something, it’s called what it is. “Sandwich with beets and chevre”. I don’t have to say something like “Two Red Goats in a Blanket.”
C’mon American breakfast chains. Give people some dignity!
Dunkin’ Donuts is planning to open in Sweden. I’m surprised this hasn’t happened earlier. This country loves donuts and many other EU countries already have Dunkin Donuts. Yea for us!
However, one of my friends pointed out that the health concious people are complaining, so Dunkin Donuts plans to have a few healthy options. As my friend says, “If you want something healthy, DON’T GO TO DUNKIN DONUTS!”
To me, this is just as ridiculous as McDonald’s having salad. If I actually want salad, I’m not going to McDonald’s to get it. If I want a cucumber breakfast sandwich, I’m not going to Dunkin’ Donuts.
I took my kids to Pizza Hut a few months ago. One child ordered pancakes and the other only ate salad. These kids don’t deserve Pizza Hut! I’m not taking them again. Yeah, yeah, the salad one is being healthy, but c’mon…. it’s PIZZA HUT!
This was my breakfast yesterday morning. Actually, it included small chocolate, licquorice passion fruit cakes as well but they didn’t last long enough for the picture.
I might also want to mention that I decided to take an online nutrition class this week where you have to chart your food. That’s why I added the mango. Always get your recommended fruit intake. 😉
My son forgot his fruit to take to school today. When he and my husband left, I suddenly remembered and banged on the window to get their attention. I threw an orange out of the window. It was smashed. I really thought oranges were stronger than that.
It could also be because we live in the third floor, but really, I thought it would make it.
I’m going to need to find some more sturdy fruits if I plan to keep throwing these out the window. Good thing he didn’t forget his hot chocolate.
Breakfast this morning was pumpkin muffins, pie and …. a carrot – because you need something healthy. Do my kids even realize how lucky they are to have an American mom that considers leftover pie and cake to be breakfast foods? They’d rather have grapefruit and oatmeal. Kids don’t know what they’re missing.
Today will be day 3 of Thanksgiving leftovers. (We celebrated on Saturday.) I feel that I may soon turn into a combination of sweet potatoes and green bean casserole. I’ve forgotten if other food exists. Maybe I’ll venture out to the grocery store today and see if people eat other things. I have no memory of food before. I know there are such things as pie, but that’s as far as I stretch. I’ve been hearing of something called salad. It rings a bell. I wonder if my body can take it. I shall experiment tonight – after my green bean and sweet potato lunch.
Yesterday’s exchange with my 6 year old son explains why the kids are running late to school most days:
Me: Max, put your dishes in the dishwasher.
Max: I am not Max, I am Alpha Rex.
Me: Alpha Rex, put your dishes in the dishwasher.
Max: Alpha Rex does not have that program.
Me: (push buttons) Now he does. Alpha Rex put your dishes up!
Max: Alpha Rex has no control pad.
Me: Yes he does, I glued it on.
Max: Glue does not stick to Alpha Rex.
Me: Yes it does because I put an invisible force field on it.
Max: Alpha Rex has no program for dishes. Only cannons.
Me: Then use your cannons to put up the dishes.
Max: Alpha Rex does not compute.
(I really don’t remember how the rest of it went, just that at some point my husband told me I couldn’t win against a 6 yr old and I think I told him that Alpha Rex doesn’t need toys so I’ll just remove them and then the dishes were put away.)
I won the mother-of-the-year award from my children this past weekend, and you know how I did it? With a nice little invention called “Jello!”
Yes, I fed my children mango, raspberry muffins and grape jello for breakfast on Sunday. I am now the coolest mother in the world.
“This is the best breakfast ever!” my two children screamed.
Sometimes I wonder if it’s tough for my children to have a mother from another country. Then I think of all the things I bring into their lives like Maccaroni and Cheese, Coke Floats and Jello and I realize that I’m pretty cool.
Sadly, their friends don’t agree. I can’t get their guests to eat the maccaroni or the jello (“It’s weird”). I think I could get them to drink the Coke Float, but there would be no way with a Root Beer float. These kids don’t know what they’re missing. They’ll appreciate these things when they become obsessed with New York and L.A. in their later years. My kids will be way ahead of the curve by then.
Before you start thinking I’m a horrible American mother who fattens up her kids on junk food, you might want to know that my children are 6 and 8 and this is the first time in their lives they can remember having jello. They’ve probably had Coke floats 3 times in their lives and maccaroni and cheese maybe once a month. So don’t throw me in with the McDonald’s eating, soda drinking, Cheetos munching, 24 hr t.v. watching, lazy parents out there. I have enough good sense in me that the kids love tomatoes and broccoli and can walk two miles with no complaints. In fact, when we go on vacation in the U.S., the Americans feel sorry for them since we insist they drink water with their meals. “Those poor children! You’re depriving them of any joy in their lives!”
Enough of defending myself. I don’t need to fight for my right to give my kids jello. This is my own guilt arguing in my head. Of course my children should celebrate their American heritage with the occasional jello for breakfast or chocolate cake in the bathtub! And I’ll convince the Swedes to drink root beer one of these days! (cue “Proud to be an American” music).
It’s funny to me, as a Texan, that Swedish children eat caviar in squeeze tubes. Caviar was always an expensive delicacy when I was growing up, but over here it’s quite common for a breakfast snack on toast.
Of course, it’s mainly adults that eat the pure caviar. The children like to squeeze it out of tubes mixed with cheese (horrible, I know).
Our children begged for this on their toast the last time my husband took them to the grocery store. What he forgot to do was to ask them if they had any idea what caviar is.
They did not.
So now the staff fridge at my workplace will be getting a fresh tube of caviar and cheese so everyone can put it on their toast in the morning.
Lesson – Half Texan kids and caviar don’t mix.