Tag Archives: diet

“Salad”

Maybe this is why America has an obesity problem?

“But I eat salad for every meal!”

Screenshot 2020-01-22 at 10.51.31

Apple pie burger

We were told to visit a popular burger place in East Texas that serves an Apple Pie Burger. I pictured a burger with an actual apple pie between the buns (honestly, it’s not that much of a stretch with some of the other crazy foods around there), but it was a burger with apple pie ingredients added – apple pieces, brown sugar and maple syrup bacon. It actually wasn’t that bad, though I prefer a regular burger.

IMG_3717.jpg

The secret to happiness

lar.jpg

I’m on this new bee diet

Many people wonder why people in Sweden don’t get fat at the end of the summer after eating loads of ice cream, hot dogs and chips. Well, I’m here to let you in on the secret to Swedish summer weight loss.

Bees.

August is the time when the bees tend to swarm in our area. Apparently, once the weather starts turning to autumn and flowers start running out of nectar, the bees charge on a desperate search for food. Those of us who like to eat dinner on our balconies are plagued by bees crawling all over our meals. People getting outdoor food from a food truck are likely to get a BURGER FULL OF BEES as we did this past weekend.

I once saw a Duncan Donuts in Germany covered in bees. There were bees on every donut on the display and the workers didn’t seem to care at all. What could they do? The doors and windows are open all day.

This is the one time of year that my kids refuse ice cream. Normally they don’t care if it’s snowing outside, they want their ice cream, but during this time of the year, ice cream and sweets attract hordes of hungry bees!  A trip to the park was completely ruined last year by bees crawling all over my children’s ice creams. And even when they threw their ice creams in the trash, the bees just went for their hands and faces because they were covered in sticky ice cream. (I tried to make this a lesson to always use a napkin, but they couldn’t hear me through the terrified screams.)

So there you have it. Swedes lose all their summer weight in August because our food is covered in bees.

Feel free to market this wonderful diet plan. I’ll take 20% of the profits.

Cardiff.jpg

Pictures of pork, beer and pretzels

My lunch all last week.  I’m currently on a salad diet.

dinner

I’m not on a diet, I’m poor!

People at work looked at my pumpkin seeds and orange last week and asked, “Is that all you’re eating for lunch?”

Yes.

Now comes the part where they discuss why I’m so thin behind my back, filled with thoughts of how much I must diet and starve myself.

I’m not trying to stay thin, I’m poor!  I can’t afford to spend 10-15 dollars on lunch, which is what it costs in this neighborhood.  But no one wants to hear that, so my response to whether is this is my whole lunch is simply, “yes.”

(by the way, I got that whole pumpkin for less than a dollar, so I’ll be eating pumpkin seeds for the next 2 weeks).

dollars

Incredible shrinking pants

I put on a pair of pants the other day and they had shrunk.  I could hardly button the top button.  Strange.  I haven’t worn them in a while.

Then I put on a different pair of pants the next day and those had shrunk as well!

My husband thinks I might have gone a bit overboard on the Christmas sweets.

I say, we need a new washer & dryer.

jeans

%d bloggers like this: