Tag Archives: jobs

Are job ads getting dumber?

Am I too cynical or is it just impossible to take certain companies seriously when going through job application ads?

Today’s example:

We’re on a mission to take over the world, and we believe that the only way to succeed with that is by having the Hungriest Digital Tigers and Toughest Tech Lions available.

(Well, I’m a Cantakerous Copywriting Camel, so I guess I’m out.)

What Google created in 10 years, we will be creating in 6 months.

(I’d put my money on this company being bankrupt in 6 months.)

Just send your email to our Chief People Officer…

(Is this an actual job title? Is anyone questioning how ridiculous this sounds? ” Hello, Chief People Officer, I am the Overlord Writing Governor.”)

Just out of curiosity, I thought I would apply because:

  1. Aside from the lion and tiger thing, I had all the qualifications
  2. If this is their ad, what kind of stories will I come away with after an interview?”

So I went to their page and it turns out, applicants are required to apply word by word as the questions show up. Starting with:

We are looking for a Digital Copywriter. Press YES

(Ok, that answer doesn’t match the question, unless I’m agreeing that YES, you ARE looking for a digital copywriter.)

Then I get to read the ad again and am instructed to press CONTINUE

Then…

What is your first name? _________ PRESS OK.

Now, I can probably guess the next question, but I went ahead and exited the site instead.

 

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Just call me Ambassador

I’m looking for jobs lately and I came across this:

Happy Socks: Social Innovation Ambassador

I love when jobs make up titles. I only want this job so I can check “Ambassador” on my flight tickets, have it on my mail, etc. I’d also really look forward to global summits with Ambassador Fruit of the Loom, The Honorable Dr. Scholl and General Hanes.

Excuse me, I need to go apply.

premium_quality_ambassador_funny_gift_backpacks-rdc57bd332f9a48fc971618c52c8e597f_zffcx_324

 

Now hiring – secret agents

It’s that time of year again when I keep an eye out for extra jobs.  Today’s favorite was “German agent for fraud.”  (I like to ignore the “for fraud” part.)

I don’t like to read the description.  I just want to imagine that they would advertise for secret agents.  I imagine that’s how they recruit them in every country, right?  On the government website.

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I am unqualified for Europe

You know, I never saw this kind of thing in the job ads back in Texas:

• Fluent in English, Romanian and Russian.

Ok, so I know we offer other languages too late over in the U.S., but is everyone in Europe expected to be a linguistic genius?   Of course, the rest of the ad maybe wasn’t quite what I qualified for either.  Read this and tell me if it’s different from the Waffle House and dentist office ads advertised in my small Texas hometown:

———-
Civil Rights Defenders, seeking administrator for Moldova.

As an administrator for Moldova you will provide administrative support to the Administrator in all activities, including the opening of the Civil Rights Defenders office in Chisinau.
Much of the work involves contact with our partners and with the headquarters in Stockholm. You will also, together with the office in Stockholm, attend the Moldavien office´ financial accounting.

Vem är du?
• You should be trained in organization, finance, financial management or related fields.
• Knowledge in accounting.
• Experience in volunteer work and / or work in nonprofit organizations.
• Fluent in English, Romanian and Russian.

———

Also, this was one of my 5 recommended jobs on the government website.  Did I give the impression that I hoped to travel to Moldova someday?  Did I even give the impression that I would know where that is?  I mean, obviously they assume I can speak Romanian and Russian.  Can’t everyone?

I can make decent muffins.  When is that going to be in a job application?

moldova

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