Tag Archives: kid

Almost charitable, but not quite

What do you want for your birthday, son?

Instead of a gift for me, I want to give it to someone else.

Wow! That’s very charitable of you! Who would you like to give a gift to?

The cat.

Oh… uh… so what do you want to give the cat?

I would like you to order this hat for the cat to wear all day on my birthday.

Screenshot 2019-03-14 at 14.44.45

A traumatic experience for the 8 yr old

My 8-yr old was carrying around his empty candy wrapper. I asked him to put it in the trash.

He walked over to the trash, carefully dropped the wrapper inside and softly said, “I will always remember you.”

ripcandy

You can’t win

The temperature is right at freezing and rainy.  I put my youngest son in warm socks and a hat and he is sweating.  I take off the socks and hat and he is freezing.

My solution – Make a lot of money, my dear boy, and move us all to a country with a nice mild climate.

The boy is not amused.

 

Old-fashioned

A 10 year old girl asked to use my desk phone yesterday.  Here’s how it went:

Girl: How do I dial?
Me: Just dial direct.  You don’t need anything special to get out.
Girl:  (puts receiver down on desk, dials number and stands there)  Now what do I do?
Me:  PUT IT TO YOUR EAR!

Girl picks up phone and begins to talk to her mother:

Girl: Yeah mom…. I KNOW!…. Well, I’m talking on an OLD phone….. Yeah….It has a CORD!

 

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