What do you want for your birthday, son?
Instead of a gift for me, I want to give it to someone else.
Wow! That’s very charitable of you! Who would you like to give a gift to?
Oh… uh… so what do you want to give the cat?
I would like you to order this hat for the cat to wear all day on my birthday.
The temperature is right at freezing and rainy. I put my youngest son in warm socks and a hat and he is sweating. I take off the socks and hat and he is freezing.
My solution – Make a lot of money, my dear boy, and move us all to a country with a nice mild climate.
The boy is not amused.
A 10 year old girl asked to use my desk phone yesterday. Here’s how it went:
Girl: How do I dial?
Me: Just dial direct. You don’t need anything special to get out.
Girl: (puts receiver down on desk, dials number and stands there) Now what do I do?
Me: PUT IT TO YOUR EAR!
Girl picks up phone and begins to talk to her mother:
Girl: Yeah mom…. I KNOW!…. Well, I’m talking on an OLD phone….. Yeah….It has a CORD!