On our recent trip to Texas, I was in the grocery store buying a vegetable platter for a party. The man in line ahead of me bore a great resemblance to “Uncle Jesse” on the Dukes of Hazard, complete with blue jean overalls. He glanced at my vegetable plate and then turned to me and said, “I’d eat yer vegetables, but I ain’t got no teeth!”

(And sure enough, he did not have any teeth.)

Then, because apparently buying a vegetable platter means you’re a health food nut, he started in on why he doesn’t like sushi.

“I tried them sushi things once. Don’t care for ’em. I hear sushi gives ya worms.”

Thanks Uncle Jesse. You’ve just ruined both sushi and vegetables for me. This is why I’m looking forward to online grocery shopping.