We receive a magazine each month from the organization we rent our apartment from. People can send in problems they are having and experts give advice. Usually it’s about laundry rooms, whether something can be replaced, etc. But I especially liked the letter (and the illustration!) of this person’s problem. I will roughly translate:
Neighbor’s farts disturb my time on the balcony
I love to sit on my balcony and drink coffee, read, eat and tan. The balcony is large as has sun from morning to the evening. This was great until 6 months ago when new neighbors moved in above me. The man in the family is completely ill-behaved and demonstrates this through burping loudly, it sounds as if he is going to puke, and he also farts very loudly. He talks on his phone in a loud voice and screams at his wife. He does all of this with no shame. It’s worst on the weekends after he has a few beers.
Who can I talk to about this? It’s very awkward to ask a neighbor to stop farting and burping loudly……
Dinner time is an important meal for the whole family to spend together. We talk, learn about each other’s day, and discuss important topics of concern to us all.
The other day, that topic was the Incredible Hulk’s pants and superhero clothes in general.
So when Bruce Banner changes into the Incredible Hulk, all his clothes shred off except for his pants. Stan Lee and Marvel have tried to explain this as a special fiber that allows the pants to stretch, but our family has other questions:
- Why do the pants tear at the ankles but not the upper thighs?
- Why doesn’t the butt seam break apart like it does on normal people’s pants when they wear out?
- How many pairs of these pants does he own and how much do they cost, because obviously he has to replace them every time he changes back?
This also leads to questions about another superhero:
- Superman wears his costume under his clothes. Where’s the cape tucked in?
- Superman removes his suit (usually in a phone booth) to expose his supersuit and fly off. What happens to his discarded business suit? People steal that right? What would you do if you found a nice suit crumpled up in a phone booth? How many suits does he have? A reporter doesn’t make that much money.
That’s as far as we got because then we were done eating dinner, but I feel this topic could easily be explored further.
I picked up the Swedish paper this morning and had to ask myself, why is there a train full of virgins going to Moscow? After careful reading I finally realized that the report was about a train’s virgin voyage to Moscow. News is more interesting when I mis-translate.
Earlier in the week I was confused by the news report about problems with Christmas wolves. First of all I didn’t know we had Christmas wolves here and second, what is the problem? Are they stealing pies? Knocking over snowmen? What is the difference between regular wolves and Christmas wolves? After all of this thought, I was informed that the word was not wolves (vargar) but roads (vägar).