My son was sick last week with a bad cough and fever. After giving him some cough medicine and tea, I told him to rest. I then put on some music for him to relax. Unfortunately, the Horrible Histories album was already cued and when I hit the power button, the radio blared, “Bring out your dead! Bring out your dead!”
I spent the next few minutes assuring my son that he did not have the plague.
One of my favorite Saturday Night Live sketches is “Theodoric of York: Medieval Barber” with Steve Martin. In this sketch, Theodoric gives his medical expertise to the people of his village, mostly involving bloodletting, which seems to be the cure for everything, including mass bleeding.
But the part of the sketch that always stays with me is when a mother brings her very sick daughter for medical advice, and Theodoric says:
– You know, medicine is not an exact science, but we are learning all the time. Why, just fifty years ago, they thought a disease like your daughter’s was caused by demonic possession or witchcraft. But nowadays we know that Isabelle is suffering from an imbalance of bodily humors, perhaps caused by a toad or a small dwarf living in her stomach.
Every time I get sick, I can’t help but think of those lines as I run through the causes of what might be wrong with me. For example, last week my back was in terrible pain and after a few days I got a bad cold. Today I woke up with a swollen, infected eye.
To me, the toad or dwarf theory is sounding pretty plausible at the moment. I think the creature moves around to different spots. It’s certainly not a slipped disc, virus or contaminated make-up problem. And it couldn’t possibly have anything to do with aging, so I’m with Theodoric on the toad/small dwarf theory.
I wonder if anyone in the Old Town still performs bloodletting?
I saw that sign, looked at the clock that said 9:45 and thought. NOOOOOO!!!!! Because in my head, when I hear “infection walk-ins” I’m just thinking of a horde of infected zombies roaming slowly down the hall all at once.
Sure enough, when I came out of the office, it was 10:05 and there they were, about 15 of them all crowded by reception. I held my breath and hurried through as fast as I could. INFECTION HORDE!
My youngest son was asked to do a short book report the other day on any book he wanted. He chose the book about sickness and diseases that he got from the doctor’s office. I remember that he read that book for weeks after he got it. I had thoughts that maybe he would become a doctor or a researcher. I asked him what he liked so much about the book and he said, “The pictures.” So I took a look.
So, maybe not a doctor – but perhaps a comedian?
When the iPad came out, I didn’t understand the point of it. It’s either a small computer or a huge phone. I just didn’t get it. But I have to say that being sick lately really reminds me of what a great invention this thing is. I can play video games in bed. Oh, what a wonderful world we live in. It can also be easily hidden under the covers from children.
So here’s to you iPad! I lift my 30 ml of NyQuil to you in a toast as I turn on Plants vs. Zombies and drift into a fever sleep.
I got this email today at work:
“Winter vomiting disease will soon be here, most active between November and April.”
So ring the bells, lalala… it’s winter vomiting time again! lalala
Oh, wait… it’s not a seasonal holiday? Sorry.
I like how the Swedes are very direct when they name things. It’s not the more polite “stomach flu.” It’s VOMITING DISEASE! Might as well get right to the point and not sugarcoat it.
Leo has the chicken pox this week. At the moment it is my turn to be home with him a couple of days. Lucky for me, this is also the same time that the temperatures dropped between -15 c and -20c. Leo and I sit at the window, drinking hot chocolate and waving at all the shivering people. A perfect winter’s day.
On a side note, Leo does not appreciate my chicken jokes. He got a bit upset when I asked if there were eggs in his bed and also when I said that I thought I saw feathers growing on him. Max should be catching this in the next week or so. I bet I can get him to cluck. Sickness is only fun if you can entertain with it.
A little re-cap of my Wednesday morning subway ride:
7:31- Trapped in crowded subway tube next to child coughing up a lung. Apparently a side effect from all that coughing is kicking. Picked the wrong day to wear a skirt.
7:40 – Pushed forward after three stops to crowded middle area where I was coughed on once again, pushed and hit on the head by a tall person reaching for the handle.
7:48 – Finally managed to grab a seat after six stops. Woman next to me also began to cough up a lung. What an interesting mix of germs I’ve received this morning! I plan on writing soon about the horrible super flu coughing disease I develop over the weekend.
I’ve been trapped in the house for a week now. I’ve noticed when you don’t get outside, your world gets a bit smaller. Today I will entertain you with the very important issues in my life right now.
Heather’s Soup Review:
Now at the top of the soup list is Campbell’s Chicken Noodle. Unfortunately this is not sold in Sweden and I only had one can from the states. It was much appreciated. Just the right levels between liquid and solid.
Next is the Swedish military pea soup. Always a popular sick meal around here. While I do enjoy the pea soup, I wish there was an option of “less pork” or whatever it is they put in there. The can reads, “Extra mycket fläskkött!” I used to look for the can that didn’t say this. I figured if you labelled a can as having “extra,” then there must be a normal version. I mean, how can it be extra if there was never less in the can to begin with? This always bothers me.
Yesterday’s selection was Kelda’s Mediterannean Tomato. I think it’s Mediterannean because they threw an eggplant in there. Quite tasty though.
Today is the tough decision between Chicken Carribean and Forest Mushroom Soup. I think Forest Mushroom is going to win because it has better packaging. Will this improve the quality of the soup? I know everyone is anxiously awaiting the results.