“Take a right and when you get to the blue building across from the hospital…. you know, the one with the wall of trash?…. that’s my place.”
A terrible thing happened this holiday season. The garbage company decided not to pick up our trash. We have 36 apartments in our building. Each apartment has between 2 and 5 people living in it. Let’s pick an average and say we are 120 people all living in one building. 120 people opening Christmas gifts with boxes and paper. 120 people eating snacks, meals and cakes three times a day. 120 people guzzling 300 bottles of champagne and booze for New Years.
That creates quite a lot of trash.
No one quite knows why the trash men didn’t show up. All we know is that they disappeared, but the garbage did not. One day we were all living peacefully with nice smells from the woods. Three days after the garbage men disappeared, we were animals, walking amongst mountains of diapers, bottles and empty potato chip bags. The garbage just kept coming. No one seemed to be able to stop it.
“Throw it in the next building’s trash!” some genius announced.
“Yes! Yes!” we all cried. But 12 hours later, the next building’s trash was overflowing and all hope was lost.
“Stop throwing out trash!” they yelled. But it just didn’t work. No matter how little we tried to move around, the trash just kept coming.
“Perhaps it’s multiplying?” one woman wondered.
“It’s the revenge of the garbage men!” a man yelled, “Door number 3 wasn’t tying up their bags! That’s why they’ve abandoned us!”
We all knew in our hearts that he was right. We had all taken the garbage men for granted.
The next day, the garbage trucks rolled again. We learned a valuable lesson, and we were free…… for now.
But I’m watching door number 3. They won’t step out of line again. No one will bring me down to that animal level once more. The trash pickup must be defended at all costs.
I’m watching you, door 3.
I used to live in a building with a trash chute in the stairwell. That was the greatest. I could walk 3 steps outside my door in my pajamas and toss trash immediately into a magic chute where I never had to think about it again.
But as usual, someone in the city of Stockholm had to complain and now all new buildings have bins for trash outside of the building, while many old buildings are closing up their trash chutes and moving them outside as well.
What awful person had to ruin this for us! It’s -15 several months out of the year here! I really don’t have time to take on a winter coat, boots, scarf, gloves, hat, etc just to take out the trash!
Our neighbors found a way around this. They simply leave the trash outside their door and stink up the house until they happen to be heading outside (which apparently they don’t do every day).
I’m considering building a metal slide from the 3rd floor to the outside trash chute. I don’t think anyone would mind. I think they would join me.