I have a feeling my kids snuck this article into “The Local.”
… insert decade here.
I’m sure you’ve gotten one of these emails before, or seen a post on Facebook about how much better it was in the 1950s.
“We didn’t have to wear seatbelts!” “Our kids could run and play in the neighborhood all day!” “Families ate dinner together!” “Kids listened to their parents!”
Besides the idiotic ‘no seatbelt’ thing, our family has all of these today, so anyone longing for this time should focus more on their own behavior rather than a particular decade.
And of course those emails never mention the horrible racial discrimination, the Cold War, polio, … the list goes on and on. But that’s not the point I’m trying to make today.
Today, I was thinking of what people might say to each other in a few more years when their memories fade and perhaps “The 80s” will be the golden decade.
The reason I started thinking about this is because this morning, I asked a friend of mine how she was doing and she replied, “I dropped my phone in the toilet.”
And that’s where the argument for the 80s starts to take shape. No one dropped their phone in the toilet in the 80s. Most people didn’t have a mobile phone and if they did, tit was too big to fit in the toilet.
Let’s see, what else could they say to glorify the 80s?
- Our phones were shaped like Snoopy and Garfield.
- Lots of arcades and pinball machines.
- When you popped in a video game to your console, it started immediately. We didn’t have to wait for updates.
I’m afraid I’m stuck now, but you get the idea. However, if they really get those pizza delievery drones to work, I don’t think anyone will be arguing that the past was ever better than the present.
7:30 – 8:30 am – Feed kids. Dress them in super arctic daycare gear. Realize 5 year old forgot to go to bathroom. Take off all super artic daycare gear and replace 5 minutes later.
8:45 am– Drop kids off at daycare. Carry empty purse so it looks like I’m going to work or somewhere important. Must convince daycare staff that I have things to do and am not going home to watch t.v. and drink hot chocolate.
9 am– 3 pm- Watch t.v.. Drink hot chocolate.
3pm – Wear different coat and hat to daycare to try to fool staff into thinking I’m a different parent. Don’t want to hear what my kids did wrong today. Grab kids, sneak out gate.
3:15 pm- Take kids to grocery store. Direct their attention to animatronic monkeys in the banana section while I grab some ice cream and chocolate. If kids discover ice cream and chocolate, I tell them it’s a present for someone else.
5 pm – Convince children that watching their mother play video games is fun for the whole family. Ease my conscience by pointing out names of things on screen and believing that to be educational.
6 pm – Fix dinner. Place pieces of food on ground like garbage and tell 2-year old not to touch. This is the only way to get him to eat his fruits and vegetables.
7 pm – 8 pm – Check email while husband convinces kids that watching their father play video games is fun and educational. Write family and friends back home about exciting and adventerous life in Europe.
9 pm – Put kids to bed with relaxing 50s Rockabilly music. Fall asleep on couch at 9:15.